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A "loving warning" from the Christians

I woke up this morning with a text message waiting for me on my phone. It said, "This is a real evangelical billboard-'i kissed a girl and i liked it and then i went to hell'"

My first thought was: I kissed a girl, her lips were sweet. She was just like kissing me - And, actually, that just echoed around in my head for a while. I was humming it as I was brushing my teeth...- I kissed a girl, won't change the world. But I'm so glad I kissed a girl.

Which naturally led to the thought that, all those men better revolutionize themselves or they'll see all their wives kissing Jill Sobule and me.

Anyway, once I was all dressed, breakfasted, and ready for the day, I googled... and pulled up the article from The Dispatch. Wherin Rev. Dave Allison says, "We meant that as a loving warning to teens.... The Scriptures tell us that you should not do what the song tells you to do. The Scriptures are not ambiguous on this issue." Yes, the Bible says something like, "Love your neighbor as yourself, all homos are going TO HELL!" I'm paraphrasing a little, but it's something close to that. I'm glad this reverend cares so much about the impressionable teens.

I know that if I were a teen who was being told homosexuality was wrong by churches and much of society, and was all confused because I kissed someone of the same sex... and like it. I would be so confused... until this sign!! That'd clear everything right up. It'd be such a weight off my chest! No more trying to figure out how I feel myself, the sign just answered all my homo questioning. I'd rush inside and be baptized in the name of their homo-hating god. Phew! The good Reverend would cure me of my homosexuality and I'd be another ex-gay success story. Another soul for Jesus! Hooray!!


Matt said...

Haha! Well said.